Friday, May 25, 2012
We received an email recently that we haven't really shared with anyone. My immediate reaction to it wasn't at all what I imagined it would be, which has caused me to take a step back and mull it over a bit.
You see, the email was from our adoption agency worker. She was informing us that the agency in Florida where our first profile book is currently sitting recently showed our book to a birth mom. What didn't have me leaping off of my seat was the next portion of the email: "...she is undecided about whether she is going to go forward with an adoption plan or not. Should she decide to move forward and choose a family, I will be in contact with you!"
So many questions go through my mind: because she is so unsure, what if she chooses us, then last minute backs out? Because she is so undecided, maybe she recognizes that this baby is a precious little being, that needs his/her mama? Because we are not in this to be taking babies away from their perfectly capable mamas.
She is undecided. She is unsure if she wants to give her baby to a family she doesn't know to raise him/her forever. She doesn't know what to do.
How on earth can I possibly pray, with peace of mind, that this mama will choose to give her baby away, will choose US?
Here is the point that I realized I was a real life mom: I love this baby that may not even be ours SO MUCH, that if there is ANY chance that he/she can stay and be raised by his birth mom, I want that to happen. I am choosing this baby over our wants to have him/her here.
SO, might I ask that you will, instead of praying for us to adopt this specific baby, that maybe you will pray for peace and clarity to completely cover this mom faced with this horrifying decision? That whatever decision she makes is made with full knowledge and sureness?