Friday, May 25, 2012

That time I felt like a real life mom...

We received an email recently that we haven't really shared with anyone. My immediate reaction to it wasn't at all what I imagined it would be, which has caused me to take a step back and mull it over a bit.

You see, the email was from our adoption agency worker. She was informing us that the agency in Florida where our first profile book is currently sitting recently showed our book to a birth mom. What didn't have me leaping off of my seat was the next portion of the email: "...she is undecided about whether she is going to go forward with an adoption plan or not. Should she decide to move forward and choose a family, I will be in contact with you!"

So many questions go through my mind: because she is so unsure, what if she chooses us, then last minute backs out? Because she is so undecided, maybe she recognizes that this baby is a precious little being, that needs his/her mama? Because we are not in this to be taking babies away from their perfectly capable mamas.

She is undecided. She is unsure if she wants to give her baby to a family she doesn't know to raise him/her forever. She doesn't know what to do.
How on earth can I possibly pray, with peace of mind, that this mama will choose to give her baby away, will choose US?

Here is the point that I realized I was a real life mom: I love this baby that may not even be ours SO MUCH, that if there is ANY chance that he/she can stay and be raised by his birth mom, I want that to happen. I am choosing this baby over our wants to have him/her here.

SO, might I ask that you will, instead of praying for us to adopt this specific baby, that maybe you will pray for peace and clarity to completely cover this mom faced with this horrifying decision? That whatever decision she makes is made with full knowledge and sureness?

Friday, April 6, 2012

Kid's views on race

Part 1:

Part 2:

Last year, CNN did a study on kids and race issues. I've linked to a couple of clips here. I'm interested to hear your thoughts on it, good or bad.

Growing up, I knew with out a doubt that my parents would not have any kind of issue if I would have had an African-American boyfriend or friend. Race was always openly talked about as not something that would ever be an issue in our family. That it was actually quite silly to think that it would be.
 Some of the kids in these clips are certain that their parents definitely would NOT have approved. One African-American teen even goes as far to talk about the 'standards' that are different for AA boys as opposed to AA girls. She mentioned that she felt there wasn't a problem with her bringing home a white boy, but if her brother brought home a white girl, it would be a totally different story.

I'm curious, all judgments aside, what were the standards in your family growing up? Was race openly talked about in your home, whether negatively or positively. If you are black, did you have many white friends? If you are white, did you have any black friends? I truly want to hear your thoughts, not the happy everyone is equal type answer, but what you truly feel in your gut. What you raise your kids to to believe. Do you talk about race in your home? Why or why not?


Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Break it down. For real.

My dear friend Angela, who along with her hubby and son, are another adoptive family working through our agency to bring their baby home. They have just started raising the funds for their 2nd adoption! She has been such an encouragement to me, as she's been here before, and believed in the process and our agency enough to do it all over again! :)
She recently laid out the costs associated with adoption as our agency breaks them down, for our specific program, and it got me thinkin': I've never shown you here what that looks like. So, here it is:


(Due prior to home study visit)

  • Application fee: $300
  • Agency fee: $2750
  • Domestic infant training course and seminar: $250
  • Adoption home study: $1500
  • Post-placement home study visits: $700 
  • = $5500 (paid)


(Due at time of placement with adoptive family. These are not CFA fees and are paid directly to the placing agency.)

  • African American or Biracial infants: $15,000-$30,000 (we have saved/raised $8000 of this so far!)


    (Estimates. Due as needed.)

    • 12 color copies of photo/profile books: $50 (was closer to $150)
    • Lodging and meals: $750
    • Airfare for two: $1600
    • = $2500 (paid $150)

    ESTIMATED GRAND TOTAL: $22,900- $37,900

    So, there it is. It's a lot of money. But every single penny is so worth the kiddo that we get to raise and bring into our family. We are so anxious to get the remaining money raised, are you with us? :)